His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
