Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
