Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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