You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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