If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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