You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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