no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
