Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
