just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
