I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
