i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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