Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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