I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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