whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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