You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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