Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
