Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
