I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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