You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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