Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
