i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
