yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
