I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
