They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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