we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
