I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize