you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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