spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
