If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
