So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
