That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
