Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize