I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
