My cat gives me a boner
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
