You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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