what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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