How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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