But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
