Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
