There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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