Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
