OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Randomize
