An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
