I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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