Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize