I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
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