I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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