8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
