I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
