dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
