Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
