Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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