I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
