Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
