you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Randomize
