Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
how drunk are you?
Several
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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