he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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